6 THINGS THAT CAN RUIN YOUR SWEET RELATIONSHIP ESPECIALLY NUMBER 3 POINT

Not standing up for your partner. Remember that your partner and you are a team who should stand up for each other. If you allow people to speak against or badly about your partner, it may come across as betrayal, which can ruin the relationship. Rather than having public confrontations, wait to speak to your spouse in private if you have a difference of opinion.

Confiding in others Opening up to friends or family about your partner’s annoying habits may seem harmless, but there is a fine line between how much of personal information you reveal to others. The complaints should never seem like you are ridiculing your partner. This can further lead to an emotional affair, if you are confiding in someone who you are also attracted to. Says Dr Pavan Sonar, consultant psychiatrist and counsellor, “Your relationship with your partner or spouse has to be the most intimate and private relationship in your life. If you are sharing mutual love, care and happiness, it is your partner who deserves to know about your feelings and not some other person. Considering that your partner has a private life and trusts only in you, sharing too much information with outsiders amounts to betrayal, leading to your partner feeling inadequate, sad or frustrated.” Keeping secrets always backfires since even if your spouse never finds out what you said, it creates coldness between you. Being manipulative. There are times when you may feel that you are not in the right relationship and your partner is not perfect. Instead of a direct approach, your partner may sweet talk you into making lifestyle changes. It takes time to realise this kind of betrayal, since it is masked with well-meaning gestures. Deep down if you feel that your partner is being manipulative and trying to bring about a personality change in you, it is your right to confront your partner.

Being selfish. When you always put your needs and wants first and ignore what your partner feels but he/ she is always concerned about you, be assured that the relationship is not going to survive for long. Your partner may be accommodating for a long time but after being taken for granted time and again, it will come to a point where they will be forced to demand equal attention to their needs. Step back and think about it if you want to save the relationship.

Hiding addictions. Various addictions (like smoking, alcohol, drugs, food, phone addiction or even workaholism), act as major factors of breaches in trust. Marketing executive Mukund J (name changed) was a chain smoker and his live-in partner Raina M, was unhappy with it. After many promises of kicking the butt, Raina was in for a shock one night when she caught him smoking in the common garden area of their complex. “It was a lifestyle change suggested by a doctor and I was worried about his health since I wanted to take our relationship to the next level. Even after I caught him, I didn’t see any remorse. So, I convinced him to visit a health advisor for rehab and a relationship counsellor to salvage the relationship.” Emotional cheating. Remember, sometimes emotional affairs with someone outside the relationship can be more painful than sexual encounters. With social media playing a major role, many feel seriously betrayed by their partner’s intimate connection on the Internet. While those who indulge in emotional affairs may see no wrong since they are not having sex with the person online, the secrecy of the relationship is enough to cause feelings of betrayal. One of the main reasons behind such affairs is lack of intimacy in relationships. There also might be those who are obsessed with personal late night chats online. Gathering enough proof to confront your partner if you doubt him/ her is the first step towards solving this problem.